“Creating Communications”: Book Summary (Part-2) »

1 Line Summary

“Creating Communications” by Randy Fujishin is a book that teaches you how to communicate and lead effectively by using powerful yet simple techniques based on listening, empathy and honesty.

What Will You Learn

You’ll learn how to:

Verbally express yourself,
Communicate with another culture,
Create effective groups,
Craft and deliver compelling speeches,
Communicate like a leader

Best Quotations from the Book

Human beings draw close to one another by their common nature, but habits and customs keep them apart.
You can experience your everyday life as art by bringing to it the qualities of the artist— inspiration, creativity, absorption, and delight. Go beyond yourself.
The real art of listening involves an awareness and sensitivity to the feelings of the speaker, because it is at the feeling level that genuine connection, relationship, and healing occurs.
Every artist started out as a beginner. Your skill level right now doesn’t matter. You’ll learn.
When it comes to giving love, the opportunities are endless and we are all gifted.
Forgiveness cures people. Both the ones who give it and those who receive it.
Light is the task when many share the load.
People tend to resist that which is forced upon them. People tend to support that which they have helped create.
Often the most creative people are also the most prepared.
A good leader creates opportunities for others to succeed.
The real art of listening involves an awareness and sensitivity to the feelings of the speaker, because it is at the feeling level that genuine connection, relationship, and healing occurs.
Everyone leads. Leadership is action, not position.
Leadership appears to be the art of getting others to want to do something you are convinced should be done.

Book Summary

Let’s discover the key techniques from the book:

1. Creating Communication with another Culture: The I.N.V.I.T.E. Technique

Increase your frame of reference

We all have a way of seeing the world that makes us feel close to some people and distant from others.
To get along better with people from different cultures, we need to expand our view and include more people in our group.
We need to respect and celebrate the diversity of people, even within our own culture.

No evaluation

Sometimes we think of people as weird or different because of how they look, talk, act, or what they talk about. We don’t like them for being different. This stops us from getting to know them better. We can show our dislike with words or actions that can hurt their feelings.
When we talk to people from different cultures, we should not judge them or show our dislike. This is hard to do because we may think our culture is better than theirs. But if we don’t judge them, we can make room for a good conversation with them. This helps us communicate better.
When people from different cultures are talking to us, we should listen carefully and not interrupt them. This can be hard to do because they may speak or act differently, or talk about things we don’t know. But if we stay quiet, we can create a space for connection. By listening openly and respectfully, we can start a dialogue.

Venture out from your comfort zone

We all have a comfort zone that makes us feel good or bad about different things. We usually do, think, and feel things that make us feel good and avoid the rest. We can grow as a person when we try new things that make us feel uncomfortable.
There are many ways to do this, such as: taking a language class, going to a cultural event, seeing art from another culture, learning a new skill or hobby, watching a foreign movie, reading a book, subscribing to a magazine, talking to someone, eating with a visitor, visiting a new place, hosting a student, traveling or living abroad.
By exploring different cultures, you can expand your comfort zone and your perspective. This can help you grow as a person and communicate better with others.

Inquire of others

Asking questions is a smart and creative thing to do. Your questions can be like artworks made by your mind. One good question can make a big difference in a conversation and even in your life.
When you ask questions, you pay attention to the other person, not yourself. You respect them by your questions. You also show that you are curious about their culture and want to know more about it.
By asking questions, you can create a good connection and a meaningful communication with people from different cultures. You can also expand your view of the world and include more people in it.

Talk about things in common

When you ask people from different cultures questions, you should listen well to their answers. In the conversation, look for things that you share with them. This will help you talk more and learn more. Don’t argue or criticize what they say. Just try to make them feel comfortable and happy to talk to you.
You may think you have nothing in common with someone from a different culture, but you do. We are all human beings who live on this earth for a short time. We all have similar life stages, events, and feelings. We all eat, learn, love, work, celebrate, and face challenges. We all have a family and friends. We all grow old and die. These are things that we all go through, no matter what culture we belong to. This is what makes us human.
When you talk to people from different cultures, focus on the things that you have in common. These are the things that connect you as human beings, not as different cultures. You have more in common with them than you think. Be open to the things that you share. Make a space where you and someone from a different culture can meet and share your human stories.

Encourage social interaction

If you enjoy talking to someone, don’t stop there. Ask them to meet again soon.
Plan a short and simple meeting, like having a drink, a walk or a dessert. This will let you keep talking and have fun.
Friendships and love start with conversations. So, don’t be shy to invite someone for more chat. You might make a friend for life.

2. Creating Healthy Relationships: The B.O.N.D. Technique

Bridging

A healthy relationship starts with your willingness to connect with someone else and see things from their point of view.
It means that you are not selfish, but you care about the other person and their needs. You are ready to compromise and give them space when needed.
It means that you accept the other person as they are, not as you want them to be. You respect their differences and sometimes give up what you want. By doing this, you might discover more about yourself.

Openness

Openness means to know and understand the other person’s inner world.
In our close relationships, we bond with others by sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings voluntarily.
When someone tells us their secrets, we feel special and different from others. We get to know things that only few people know.

Naturance

Nurturance means to feel safe and relaxed in a healthy relationship. You also give and get support, comfort, care, and love.
Your relationships should make you and the other person better and happier. You should ask yourself how you feel and grow in your relationships.
Your relationships must help, support and motivate you.

Discovery

A healthy relationship needs you to be curious and adventurous about yourself and the other person. You can grow and explore new things together.
A healthy relationship needs you to be open to discovery and change. You should not be afraid or angry when the other person wants to try something new. You should not expect the relationship to stay the same forever.
A healthy relationship is based on four things: bridging, openness, nurturance, and discovery. Your success in making and keeping healthy friendships depends on how well you do these four things.

3. Creating Effective Groups: The G.R.O.U.P. Technique

Growth is the goal

You join a group to solve a problem, but also to learn and grow.
You learn active listening, verbal communication skills, cooperation and creativity while working with others in the group.
These skills and values make you a better person

Research the topic

Many group members do not prepare or research well for meetings.
Researching a topic provides facts, stats and expert advice and helps in making better decisions.
The investment of time and effort in research yields positive difference and increases the wealth of information for better decision making.

Organize the discussion

The problem-solving agenda will help your group solve the problem more effectively and productively. It will also improve your group process and increase your chances of success.

Unify the group

Working in a group is better than working alone, because you can share ideas and solutions. You must cooperate and work together with group members.
Your role as a group member is to make the group united and friendly; welcome and encourage others, and avoid conflicts and arguments.
If there is a conflict in the group, you must try to resolve it peacefully. You should ask questions, listen, compromise, and focus on the problem, not the person.
You can make the group more united and cooperative by being calm and positive.

Participate wholeheartedly

Enthusiasm can spread from one person to others. It can make people feel more alive, inspired, and excited.
You can choose to be enthusiastic in whatever you do. Your enthusiasm can make others feel the same way and join you.
Do more than what is expected of you. Be active, helpful, friendly, and positive in your group. Your enthusiasm can make a difference and influence others.

4. Creating Successful Speeches: The F.O.C.U.S. Technique

Friend of the audience

Think of yourself and the audience as friends who support and care for each other. This will make you feel more confident and relaxed when you speak.
Remember that your audience is curious and eager to learn from your speech. They are not there to judge, but to appreciate you.

Organize your speech simply

Don’t overwhelm your audience with too long speeches. Choose simple over complex, and make your message clear and easy to follow.
Use a simple structure for your speeches: an introduction, a few main points, and a conclusion. Keep your speeches short and engaging.
Make your audience curious and interested, not bored and tired.

Critical thinking

Use critical thinking skills to choose, research, and organize your speech topics. Make sure your sources are trustworthy and your evidence is relevant.
Use evidence to make your speech more logical and persuasive. This will also make you more credible and confident as a speaker.
Think of your speech as collaboration with the experts, researchers, and authors you cite.
They will support you and your message when you speak to the audience.

Uplift the audience

Your speech should inform or persuade the audience. They are the most important factor in your speech preparation and delivery. Make your speech valuable for them.
Your main objective in any speech is to serve your audience. They are not just passive listeners, but active participants in your speech.
Think about your audience’s needs and interests. How will your speech help them or make them happier? How will your speech inspire them to grow as individuals?

Stories to develop your points

Stories make your speech more interesting and memorable. They show your audience how your message relates to their lives. Use stories to illustrate or reinforce your points.
You will have many opportunities to speak in public throughout your life. You will face different audiences and situations. You need to be prepared and confident.
Creating strategic speeches means knowing your purpose and your audience. You need to structure your speech accordingly. This will make your speech more effective and persuasive.

5. Creating Ease in Giving Speeches: The S.P.E.A.K. Technique

See yourself as others do

You may not believe it, but you look more relaxed than you feel when you speak.
Your audience does not notice your nervousness, even if you have a fast heartbeat, sweaty palms, or short breath.
Most speakers are amazed by how calm and confident they appear on video, even though they felt scared when speaking. Don’t worry; your fear is not visible to your listeners.

Prepare to learn about yourself

Giving a speech can teach you about yourself and help you improve. It is a unique opportunity to overcome fear and enjoy the applause.
A good speech can make you feel happy, proud, and motivated to try new things and live fully.

Experience reduces stress

The more you practice a skill, the less nervous you feel when you do it. This applies to speaking as well.
Think of your first time doing something scary, like swimming or driving. You were afraid, but you got better with time. The same happens with speaking.
You may be new to giving speeches, but don’t worry. You will do well and feel more confident with each speech. You may always have some fear, but it will decrease with experience.

Audience is your friend

The audience is on your side. They are curious, supportive, and positive about you and your speech. They give you a fair chance to impress them.
The audience is your friend, no matter where you speak. They want you to do well. They are there because they care.

Keep the speech in perspective

Don’t make a big deal out of your speech. It’s not a matter of life or death. It’s just a few minutes of your life.
After your speech, you will feel relieved and happy. After a while, you will forget about speech and your worries. After a long time, you won’t even remember you spoke.
Keep your speech in perspective. Do your best, but don’t stress too much. It’s not that important in the grand scheme of things. Be positive and relax.

6. Creating Healthy Leadership: The L.I.G.H.T. Technique

Learn new things

Life is full of learning opportunities. Being a group leader is one of them.
As a leader, you will discover more about yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, and how you influence others.

Involve group members

A good leader knows how to share the work with others. Trying to control everything will make you less effective.
To prevent yourself from burning out or becoming bitter, get help from the group members. Trust them to do their part and don’t micromanage them. You are not irreplaceable.
If you leave the group, someone else will take over and the problems will still be solved. So don’t stress yourself too much and enjoy the process.

Give yourself a break

Being a leader is hard. You are not flawless and you will mess up sometimes. But that’s okay. You can learn from your mistakes and grow as a person.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not expected to be perfect or to copy someone else’s style. You have your own unique way of leading others that works for you.
Be authentic and true to yourself. If you try to be someone you are not, you will only tire yourself out and lose your confidence. Give yourself some credit.

Hide your ego

A good leader does not let his ego get in the way. When you are in a meeting, you should not take things personally or get upset by other people’s opinions, but you must listen and learn from them.
You must focus on being respectful and professional, not friendly and popular.
Your job is not to be liked by everyone, but to guide them towards a common goal.

Take time for other things

Most people feel overwhelmed and stressed by being in the role of leadership, it consumes their day and drains their sleep.
Do not overwhelm yourself, maintain work-life balance by sparing time for yourself and loved ones.
Arrive early, be a guide, and end on time. Your group will love you.

If you are willing to upscale your life, practice these techniques, multiply your productivity, broaden your vision and magnify yourself.

For more insights, read “Creating Communications (Part-1)“, “Exactly What to Say“, “How to Talk to Anyone“, “Just Listen“, “How to Win Friends and Influence People“, “Crucial Conversations” and “Relation between Self Awareness and Effective Communication“.